My New Year’s Resolutions 2011
Published 12/31/2010 | 
It goes without saying.
Every year, sooner or later, I break my New Year’s resolution(s).
So this year I am setting myself up for success.
Here are The Worst Mother’s TEN(!) resolutions for 2011.
1. I will laugh more. I already laugh a lot. This could be dangerous.
2. I will breathe deeply. At least once a day. This I can do.
3. I will might exercise. Laughing = exercise. I might… 
Why Women LOVE to Shop
Published 12/27/2010 | I am a die-hard shopper. And I have the injuries to prove it.
As you can see, I have suffered extensive shopping-related injuries in this lifetime. That’s because, for me, shopping is a contact sport, and I am one of its elite athletes. By the way, am I the only one who thinks shopping ought to be both a winter and summer olympic sport?
I would win every medal. This, I say, with absolute certainty.…
Posted in motherhood | 
born to shop, motherhood, parenting, shopping is a sport, the worst mother | 
Leave a commentWhy I Suck at it SOMETIMES!
Published 12/18/2010 | Today didn’t start off quite right.
I woke up with that feeling of not knowing where I was, who I was, or more importantly, WHY THERE WAS A MAN SLEEPING IN MY BED!
Next I heard blood curdling screams from children who were calling out for their mother– who had obviously gone AWOL.
What kind of mother does that?
AND THEN it hit me.
Followed in quick succession with….
I had awoken to a…
The Worst Mother Goes Incognito
Published 12/12/2010 | 
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It’s Sunday morning and I’m in disguise because I don’t want anyone to find me.
I’m enjoying some ‘me’ time, which basically means I’m just sitting here, in a seemingly vegetative state, not doing anything. I’m fighting that feeling of being unproductive, lazy, and ineffective. Instead, I’m trying to embrace it.
I don’t want to read, do yoga, meditate, go for a walk, or think about penguins.
I just want…
Why I Will Never Be President of the United States (among other things)
Published 12/08/2010 | IT’S NO SECRET AROUND HERE (and by ‘here‘ I mean this planet of over 6 BILLION people), that there is one thing that I am not and never will be….
To wit: I have set off the smoke detector exactly four seven EIGHT times this week.
Perhaps you’re rolling your eyes, thinking this is just another faux, self-deprecating rant, intended to garner sympathy or make me sound oh-so-mysterious (and maybe just a…
Why I Will Never Be President of the United States (among other things)
Published 12/08/2010 | IT’S NO SECRET AROUND HERE (and by ‘here‘ I mean this planet of over 6 BILLION people), that there is one thing that I am not and never will be….
The Worst Mother in the World? Well Snargle Gaggle Floss Me!
Published 12/02/2010 | Call me The Worst Mother in the world for saying this but…
teenagers are not human.
And, oddly enough, there’s something absolutely perfect about that.
Let me explain how I came to this conclusion–the hard way!
When Number One became a teenager I suddenly had no idea what I was doing as a parent, and as is typical of many parents, I thought there was something wrong with my kid. In fact, when One was 12 years and 364 days old, she went from looking like this….
The Worst Mother in the World? Well Snargle Gaggle Floss Me!
Published 12/02/2010 | Call me The Worst Mother in the world for saying this but…
teenagers are not human.
And, oddly enough, there’s something absolutely perfect about that.
Let me explain how I came to this conclusion–the hard way!
When Number One became a teenager I suddenly had no idea what I was doing as a parent, and as is typical of many parents, I thought there was something wrong with my kid. In fact, when One…
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