The Language of FOOD
Published 01/23/2012 | 
Does your food talk to you?
And so it goes.
The battle with food never ends. As long as you believe food can talk to you, you will stay in a struggle.
But food cannot talk.
It doesn’t have lips.
When we say things like, “the cupcake was calling my name,” we hand our power over to the cupcake.
Oh, and another thing: food is not your friend.
Food is NOT your friend, Silly! And… READ MORE
Professional Smart Ass for Hire
Published 01/16/2012 | It’s official folks. I am a professional Smart Ass.
Pro.
Fessional.
I even have a card. Check it.
Yes, that’s sarcasm oozing everywhere. I don’t know how to turn it off!
Anyway.
Just wanted you to know I am now a certified, card-carrying, self-anoited, hard-core, death-defying, buttocks-kicking, bullshit-busting, knock-knock joke-lovin’ you know.
Turning pro has had its moments, I’ll give you that. I really had to step up my game. Let’s not beat around the… READ MORE
My top 10 lessons for 2011
Published 12/27/2011 | It has been one helluva year, I’ll give you that.
I learned exactly ten things and I would like to share them with you.
Here they are in ascending order.
Here we go….
Number 10: Things definitely go better with sarcasm.
Number 9: Even though it may sound cheesy, life coaching is the best thing since sliced cheese.
One can never get enough.
So get as much as you can. Especially when it’s on… READ MORE
Happy Birthday to My Bosom Buddy & Life Long Friend
Published 12/20/2011 | My BB&LLF is celebrating a birthday today.
Her name is Mary, but I call her Mare, Nightmare, Maria (with rolling r’s), Divine Ms. M (how original!) and sometimes even Mary Consuela Filippa Hortense Whatshername… because long names are romantic and ‘Mary’ + a bunch of other names sounds très sophisticated, too.
And perhaps kinda-sorta complicated.
Maria is not complicated. Wait… yes no yes no yes no no she isn’t.
Mare is beautiful.… READ MORE
Help. I have a shopping injury!
Published 12/19/2011 | OMG, with only a few shopping days left ’til Christmas, I am in big BIG trouble.
Despite my best efforts to be in shape for the holiday season, I have a shopping injury.
Ahem, another shopping injury.
Yes, I keep track.
As you may know from previous posts, I am a most excellent shopper. Remember the time I petitioned the International Olympic Committee, begging them to make shopping (something I consider to be a bona-fide contact sport)… READ MORE
Chief Christmas Card Opener Out of Work
Published 12/14/2011 | I had to re-share this from last year (with a few tweaks, of course) because every year there are fewer and fewer holiday cards and sometimes I just miss “the olden days” as my darling cherubs often refer to my more youthful years.
I remember when I was a kid we would receive one quadgatrillion Christmas cards every year. I was in charge of opening them and sticking them up on a wall dedicated to… READ MORE
The Bathroom Scale: Be afraid. Or not.
Published 12/05/2011 | Every day we are told to:
FACE YOUR FEAR!
GET OVER IT.
OVERCOME.
FEEL THE FEAR AND DO IT ANYWAY.
Hmmmmmmmmmm, I’m thinking there’s got to be a better way.
I give you Exhibit A.
The Bathroom Scale.
There it is. It’s just a heap o’ metal parts put together to weigh people. Or dogs. Or my purse. (Sometimes I just have to know things, like how much my purse weighs.)
How is it then,… READ MORE
Posted in Life Coach | 
the smart ass coach, The Talking Bathroom Scale, weight coach, weight loss | 
4 CommentsThere’s something about a stinky boy and his mom…
Published 11/28/2011 | Boys stink.
Not literally. Well, sometimes literally, but… you probably know what I mean.
I love boys.
Go figure.
I especially love my very own stinky beautiful boy who has been home this past week for the Thanksgiving holiday. Sadly, and rather pathetically, I pretty much reverted back to treating him as if he were a five-year-old.
Even though I mostly saw him in the form of a blur.
A stinky blur, but a most… READ MORE
Posted in Life Coach | boys stink, Jim Carrey, life coach, Lin Eleoff, moms and their sons, mothers | 7 Commentsdid someone just say the d-word?
Published 11/21/2011 | I’m going all Sarah Palin again people.
As in: ROGUE.
So put your helmets on. Brace yourselves. Grab onto a tree.
Because I’m going on a d-d-d-d-d-d-d-diet.
Jeesh, when did “diet” become such a monster of a four-letter word? You’d think it was the f-word.
this is what a diet looks like when left unchecked
No one wants to even say the d-word anymore.
Real women don’t say the word diet.
Real… READ MORE
Posted in THE WORST MOTHER | life coach, mothers, Self Coaching 101, self help, smart ass diet, weight loss, women | 13 CommentsIt’s Rainin’ Men
Published 11/13/2011 | I had some fun on Facebook this week when I asked my girlfriends this question:
What’s the first thing you think of when you hear the word MEN?
Suffice to say that we women sure have strong feelings when it comes to our men.
The best way to sum it up is:
You can’t live with ‘em, you can’t live without ‘em, and you can’t stop thinking about them.
Much.
That’s because:
MEN ARE EVERYWHERE!
You gotta… READ MORE
Posted in Life Coach | AFGO, Another Freakin' Growth Opportunity, boys stink, life coach, Lin Eleoff, men, self help mothers, women | 10 Comments |
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