Me + Freakin’ + Awesome = Frawesome Me!
Published 05/10/2012 | 
Who the hell do you think you are?
Are you afraid of the question, “Who Do You Think You Are?”
How do you answer it? Let’s try it out. You be you and I’ll be me. Here we go.
Me: Who do you think you are?
You: Um, um, um….
Me: Um… No! No! No!
Listen, Mama! You know exactly who you think you are and you ARE exactly who YOU think you… 
Posted in Life Coach | 
Lin Eleoff, Smart Ass Life Coach, the worst mother, weight loss, women | 
6 CommentsMy Teenagers are Perfect
Published 04/24/2012 | I used to have knock ‘em sock ‘em fights with my teenager, Number One, after she was abducted by aliens in the middle of the night, only to be returned to earth the very next day with a new brain.
It was the only plausible explanation.
Who was this kid?
What the hell?
No really. What the hell????????????
I’ve survived living with teenagers of various ages for the past 13 years. And I believe…
Posted in Life Coach | life coach, Lin Eleoff, motherhood, parenting, teenagers, the worst mother | 22 CommentsWhat the hell? Why do I keep following me?
Published 04/12/2012 | If there is one thing I am, it’s consistent.
I am everywhere. When I look in the mirror, there I am.
When I look down at my feet, that’s me too.
When someone calls me on the phone, I answer.
“Hi! It’s me!”
Except when it’s that credit card guy who tries to scare me when he says, “We have something important to tell you about your credit rating.” Then I pull a David…
Posted in Life Coach | life coaching, Lin Eleoff, Mentor, mothers, Smart Ass Life Coach, the worst mother, women | 6 CommentsHelp… I need you!
Published 04/02/2012 | Hey Smart Asses…
Over the past couple of years since I’ve been blogging, many of you have been encouraging me to turn my crazy ass drawings into note cards, so I’m going to give it a shot… the only problem is, I can’t decide which ones.
I’ve become so attached to the Worst Mother that I can’t remain impartial enough to choose the ones that best suit her “Smart Ass” attitude.
Which ones do you…
My One-Legged Pretend Friend
Published 03/22/2012 | Do you remember the time I told you about my one-legged pretend friend, Kattaronica? (Not her real name.)
Everyone loves her. Men love her. Women love her. Caterpillars love her!
Katty is amazing.
A.
M.
A.
Z.
I.
N.
G.
But try telling her that. No really, go ahead and try. Then get back to me and tell me how many times you’ve bashed your head against the wall.
Katty LOVES to find all the…
Posted in Life Coach | AFGO, Another Freakin' Growth Opportunity, life coach, Lin Eleoff, Smart Ass | 3 CommentsHow to Know if You Are Worthy
Published 03/04/2012 | People talk about worthiness in strange ways.
As if it’s a thing to become, or attain, or accomplish or get done.
Unworthiness often hides in funny places: behind athletic trophies, professional degrees, or bags of Doritos.
Sometimes it’s declared emphatically, as in: I am not worthy.
Or variations thereof:
My teeth aren’t white enough.
I have a thyroid problem.
My car is out of gas.
I can’t cook.
Yeah.
Whatever.
Anyone who burns Hot…
Posted in Life Coach | Kife Loach, life coach, Lin Eleoff, Martha Beck, moms, motherhood, Smart Ass Coach | 13 Commentshow to kick your own ass
Published 02/26/2012 | Yesterday started out to be “one of Those Days.”
You know… the kind that feels kinda “off” before it even begins.
I hadn’t felt like this in a very long time, so it took me a moment (or two) to get my $h!t together.
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Yeah, it kinda went like that.
What do you “think” to get yourself out of a funk?
you want easy? i’ll show ya easy…
Published 02/13/2012 | There’s no such thing as easy.
There. I said it. Oh oh…
INCOMINGGGGGGGGGGGGG….
I guess the disguise didn’t fool Them.
Damn! They find me every time.
Wait. I thought I killed Them and They.
Jeesh. My work is never done! (Incidentally, I just made some cookies in the shape of dead people. My kids loved them! Sickos.)
Okay, so I guess some people don’t want to hear that there’s no such thing…
Anger isn’t only for the birds!
Published 02/05/2012 | Let’s talk about anger.
Why is it okay for birds to be angry, but when it comes to people getting angry, it’s just not done. Properly.
Anger is necessary.
Anger is a gift I give to myself.
Have you ever seen me angry? Oh. Em. Gee. Here are some of my most exquisite angry moments.
Enjoy! 
Yeah. I know. It’s not pretty.
But it’s real.
And hell hath no fury like a mom who’s…
The Language of FOOD
Published 01/23/2012 | Does your food talk to you?
And so it goes.
The battle with food never ends. As long as you believe food can talk to you, you will stay in a struggle.
But food cannot talk.
It doesn’t have lips.
When we say things like, “the cupcake was calling my name,” we hand our power over to the cupcake.
Oh, and another thing: food is not your friend.
Food is NOT your friend, Silly! And…
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