GUTSY NEW RULE #9:
GOSSIP WITH GRACE
“Gossip” with grace. If you talk about someone, do it from a place
of compassion and love, and always without judgment. Don’t take
part in conversations intended to bolster your ego at the expense of
others. As Don Miguel Ruiz teaches in his book, The Four
Agreements, “Be impeccable with your word.”
It’s like people-watching. I love to see and hear about what other people are doing, how they’re doing it, what lights them up, what makes their heart sing.
I love to hear about their successes.
It inspires me when I hear about all the good things someone is experiencing because I think, “I can have that too, if I want it.”
THERE IS ENOUGH SUNSHINE TO GO AROUND FOR EVERYONE
But not like I used to… “high school style.” You know it when you hear it, right? Someone is talking about someone else and it’s “secretive” and, well, I can’t think of another word other than “dirty.”
“Did you hear they’re getting a divorce?”
“I hear Cathy’s kid is really into drugs.”
“What’s going on with Holly and Rick… they used to look so happy.”
High school-style gossip pulls you down a rabbit hole that leads to Nowhere, which is just down the road from Jealousy, Resentment, and Pain.
High school gossip is supposed to make us feel better about our own misery.
But you have to tune in and be willing to look at your “misery” and see that it doesn’t ever get washed away just because someone else is struggling.
Jealousy and envy feel equally horrible.
“Who does she think she is?”
“Why does she do it like that?’
“Why can’t I have what she has?”
THE GUTSY NEW WAY TO “GOSSIP”
The way I like to gossip is as if that person is right there, beside me, listening to every word I say. In fact, there’s nothing better than gossiping in front of someone.
“I hear Patty is struggling. How can we help her?”
“Ramona just put up a gorgeous new website… she’s doing so well.”
“Deirdre said something that’s really upset me. I’m going to have to talk to her about it.”
Sometimes we need to talk to someone about someone else.
But keep it clean, Girlfriend.
This is how we live our lives as gutsyass wholehearted women.