The Language of FOOD
Published 01/23/2012 | 
Does your food talk to you?
And so it goes.
The battle with food never ends. As long as you believe food can talk to you, you will stay in a struggle.
But food cannot talk.
It doesn’t have lips.
When we say things like, “the cupcake was calling my name,” we hand our power over to the cupcake.
Oh, and another thing: food is not your friend.
Food is NOT your friend, Silly! And… READ MORE
My top 10 lessons for 2011
Published 12/27/2011 | It has been one helluva year, I’ll give you that.
I learned exactly ten things and I would like to share them with you.
Here they are in ascending order.
Here we go….
Number 10: Things definitely go better with sarcasm.
Number 9: Even though it may sound cheesy, life coaching is the best thing since sliced cheese.
One can never get enough.
So get as much as you can. Especially when it’s on… READ MORE
For Dana
Published 10/13/2011 | (This re-post is dedicated, with love, to my dear friend Dana, who is asking The Universe a whole lot of questions right now.)
I have been having an affair for some time now.
With The Universe.
Don’t worry, my husband, Thurston Howell the Fourth, knows all about it. In fact, he’s totally fine with it. He understands and accepts that there’s no fighting a love like this!
Don’t get me wrong. I love my… READ MORE
Posted in THE WORST MOTHER | 
AFGO, life coach, Lin Eleoff, self help, the universe, the worst mother, women | 
8 Commentswe were girls first
Published 10/10/2011 | I am such a girl.
Seriously, I love being a girl.
When/why/how did it become a rule that you could call women many things, but never girls?
Yes, I am a woman, but I have no time for such technicalities.
I used to. Believe me, I was one of the ones who thought being called a girl was a no-no.
If you want to play with the big boys, you’ve got to start… READ MORE
Posted in THE WORST MOTHER | AFGO, girl power, life coach, Lin Eleoff, motherhood, self help, the worst mother, women | 3 CommentsMy Year of Blogging Dangerously
Published 08/30/2011 | I am celebrating my first anniversary as a blogger.
Let’s hear it for me!
This is so embarrassing.
One year ago, on a whim, I decided that, even though it may not be what was expected of me as a respectable woman, lawyer, mom, wife, lip gloss aficionado, and kife loach (!), I came out as The WORST Mother.
Here’s an excerpt from my recent appearance on 60 Minutes, being interviewed by… READ MORE
self-flagellation with a cheese danish
Published 08/18/2011 | I learned about The Cheese Danish when I moved to the United States.
It’s not like they didn’t have cheese danish in Canada, but they certainly didn’t have The Cheese Danish.
And when I say there was cheese everywhere, I really mean….
everywhere!
I was introduced to The Cheese Danish by my brand new American friend and fellow mom who thought, being from Canada, I had only ever eaten mutton and walrus.
She thought I… READ MORE
My Attempt at the Ten Commandments
Published 08/09/2011 | 
And now for those SUGGESTIONS I promised you in # 2, above.
SUGGESTION # 1: DECIDE to change the way you think about those things you hate about yourself.
For example, I used to beat myself up with the thought “I never finish anything I start.” I thought this was a very bad bad thing. Maybe someone said it to me once and it stuck, I don’t know. But I used to care. I… READ MORE
I Speak Horse
Published 07/26/2011 | I spent last week in California learning to speak horse.
Yes. Horse. As in– Secretariat, Black Beauty, Barbaro, My Little Pony.
I figured it would be fairly simple, since I had already studied several languages. And I was quite certain I wouldn’t have to learn how to conjugate any verbs, especially the much dreaded past-perfect subjunctive, which is a real bugger to learn, unlike the pluperfect subjunctive, or le plus-que-parfait du subjonctif (as it’s called in… READ MORE
The Things I (Don’t) Do For My Kids
Published 07/18/2011 | This morning I awoke with a spring in my step.
Literally.
There was an actual spring–one of those little thingys you find inside a ballpoint pen to make the pen click in and out–lodged in my foot.
Owwww.
As I tried to catch myself from falling head-first into the laundry basket, I recalled being taught that the best way to fall was to relax the body, tuck the head in, and roll.
All I remember next… READ MORE
The Things I Do For You!
Published 07/11/2011 | I’m gonna go all rogue here and say something a mother should never admit.
Never!
It’s just bad form.
It goes against the rules of mommyquette.
But, since I am your leader, I shall proceed.
First I need to put on my disguise.
No one must ever know I said this.
Oy… the things I do for you.
Promise you won’t blow my cover?
Wouldn’t want anyone gettin’ all up in my grill for tellin’… READ MORE
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