Why would a fancy pants attorney decide to become a life coach?
What could she possible be thinking?
This was the question I used to dread when I first decided I wanted to become a coach nearly a decade ago. I also felt bad about the accompanying eye-rolling and tsk-tsking that was surely going on behind my back.
“Did she stop taking her vitamins?”
“Maybe it’s a congenital defect.”
“Call the police!”
These are not exaggerations of what I imagined people would say, still say, when they “found out” I had no interest in being a traditional lawyer that chased after the almighty billable hour, shouting “I object” at every opportunity.
I tried to come up with answers in my head so I would be prepared.
“Well, you see, I came to realize that my true calling was…” (Ew, no.)
“I decided that I didn’t really want to work 80 hours a week doing work that…” (NO!)
“A little bird came to my window one day and… (Cheeky. But better.)
It had never occurred to me that I could simply say…
Period. End of answer. That’s all I’ve got. Deal.
Because no explanation was required. Besides, I didn’t even have a “real” answer yet. Back then, I just knew. Even if I had an answer that satisfied me, it still wouldn’t satisfy the “Non Approvers” who think they know better than me when it comes to knowing what’s best for me.
When we stammer around for answers that we hope will satisfy the person who is asking us for an explanation, we are not in our Adult Mind. We’ve reverted back to being people-pleasing little girls we were taught to be.
But when I slap myself upside the head to remind me that I am a card-carrying adult woman, then the answer to those questions becomes so very simple.
Delivered with kindness, and a smile, it is the perfect answer.
When you’re caught up in worrying about what other people will think, or whether they’ll approve, just repeat this to yourself, “I never have to explain my choices. I am old enough, smart enough, experienced enough, and responsible enough to make them.”
And if pressed really hard by someone who believes they have a right to impart their “wisdom” on you after you’ve already explained yourself? These are your final words:
“I appreciate that you don’t agree. I love you. And I really don’t have any more fucks to give.”
This is how we Woman UP, Girlfriend. It’s how life becomes exhilarating.
In love and guts,
(If yes, click HERE.)